McKenzie- You're 4 and a half years old!

Happy half-birthday sweet girl!

 You've learned so much over the last six months. And you're quickly becoming too independent for my liking. It amazes me what a difference a few months makes. You're able to do simple math(adding and subtracting items placed in front of you). You can both recognize and write most of your letters. You recognize and write your numbers(up to 12). Just this week you made great strides in learning to tie your shoes all by yourself. You get stumbled a bit, but you keep on trying to perfect this new feat. You're a bright little girl with loads of potential and I cannot wait to see all the things you learn over the next few months.

In a few weeks you will be participating in your first big dance recital. Dancing has brought you out of your normal shy shell and made you shine. You love to dance. You love your teachers. I am happy that you didn't let your fears of trying something new hold you back from doing something you love. Face your fears. Conquer  them. And reap the rewards.

 You started school again this week. You were hesitant at first, but you LOVE going and meeting new friends. You're a social butterfly with your friends. Sometimes you find yourself getting into trouble for talking when you're not supposed to be talking. You're definitely a girl.

You often tell me that you're not really four, you're nine. And sometimes I think in my head that you may be right. You're mature beyond your years. You have a heart for other people that makes my heart explode. You're super empathetic and are really grasping the concept of how others may react to your actions.

You don't like to be excluded and when you are you're little heart breaks and it breaks for me. I think that your sweet little soul wants everyone to see the good in you that you see in them. From your beautiful blue eyes your world is perfect. The world is a beautiful place and I can only pray that you're able to view it in that manner forever.

You LOVE pretending to be a mommy. You have what seems like a hundred baby dolls. You dress them, rock them, swaddle them. You always want to help with your brothers care. He's often quite annoyed by your persistence to assist. But you keep going. You're going to make a wonderful mother one day.

I am so proud to be your Mommy. I love watching you learn and grow. I love watching your faith in the Lord grow. I love how innocent and curious you are. You can be as stubborn as a mule. You're sassy and spirited. Some days I want to pull my hair out. But I am often reminded that one day you'll be a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman. It's not easy raising such a strong spirited little girl, but I know as child, then a teen, and then an adult that you'll remember to make the right decisions. That you'll always be a leader. Just try to remember to continue to love- blindly.

We love you to the moon and back,

Mama

Super Moon!

Tonight the moon was as close to Earth as it has been in 20 years. Pretty stinking beautiful!

18 month shoot

Happy 6th birthday in Heaven, Zoey!

Happy, Happy, Birthday Zoey girl!

 

I honestly cannot believe it's been six whole years since you made us parents. It's been such a wild ride. It has been full of emotions. It's been full of tears and laughter. I still remember the day you came crashing into our lives like it was yesterday. All of my emotions were placed into full gear that day. I finally realized what being a Mom was about. I remember people telling me about how you love this little person SO much- but honestly it isn't fathomable until you travel down that road for yourself.

I refuse to spend your birthday in a pit of despair. Obviously, I am so, so, sad that you're not here in the physical sense to help us celebrate. But, today, is about celebrating YOU. We celebrate the lessons you taught us- we celebrate becoming parents. We celebrate how much we loved you and still love you.

The day you were born your Daddy and I experienced so many profound emotions. We worried. We loved like we had never loved before. We celebrated. We rejoiced. We prayed and cried. We even laughed at your wild hair to match your equally wild personality.

We're so, so, blessed to have had you- even if God decided that our time with you would be cut abruptly short. There is a Garth Brook's song titled "The Dance" and this song makes me think of you so often. There is a single line, "We could have missed the pain, but we would have had to miss the dance!" It rings so true to me. We are the parents we are to your little sister and brother because of you. I am the friend, mother, sister, daughter, because of lessons your little life taught us. We're forever grateful for you.

Today I wish we all  were united as a family. I wish we were picking you out your favorite cake and singing Happy Birthday to you. However, instead, we remember you. We remember your crazy hair- your crooked bink- your sweet, soft, smells. I remember how you snuggled into our chest. I remember how incredibly brave you were. I remember how you consistently proved everyone wrong.  Memories last forever baby girl.

I am looking forward to the day that we all meet again. I often attempt to picture if you're still a baby in Heaven- or if you're growing up there. I am guessing we'll find out soon enough.

Enjoy your cake. Dance with Jesus. And know that we're loving and missing you always.

Love you to the moon and back,

Mama

Recital Costumes

Disney World

Brenton: You're 18 months old today!

Oh sweet baby. Happy half birthday to you, buddy! It seriously feels like yesterday we were planning your first birthday and here you are half way through your 2^nd year!

We’ve had lots of excitement in the last few months with you. In fact, you’re currently sporting a 103 fever and needing extra loving. Last week you fell off our dining room table chair, onto the ceramic tile, and fractured your forehead.  There is this saying that Mom’s like to say, “Don’t do that or you’ll crack your head open!” And you managed to make that common phrase true. Thankfully, it’s only a hairline fracture and you took it like a true champ- but you look like a battered baby commercial. I can almost see the pity on people’s faces when they see us out and about. Do me a favor and stop climbing on everything. You’re truly making my heart skip a beat.

You’re becoming such a little person. You’re learning new words all the time. Currently, your favorite word is “Bad” and I am assuming you must hear this way too much. Sorry! You know what you want and how to express getting it, even if your vocabulary is still a bit limited. You can follow 3 word directions. You love to help clean (so much so you’re constantly throwing things away that are not trash!). You’re constantly on the go. You never, ever, sit still. We take you to dance each Tuesday for Sissy and you run, run, run. You can be totally exhausting. You climb on everything. And anything. Stop. Thanks!

You’re finally sleeping through the night.  However, you’ve eliminated your morning nap most days and only take one afternoon nap. I remember when your sister did this and it makes me feel like you’re not quite as much as a baby as I still assume you are. You still love your paci and your blankey. In the next few months we’re going to have to start working on you to give up your beloved pacifier.

You’re bright and beautiful and incredibly sweet. You’re vivacious and wild and mischievous. These are the qualities that make my heart explode each time I think of you! You love your Sissy so much, but you’re often instigating her by pulling her hair, taking her baby dolls, and running away giggling. She’s in love with you. Even though you all manage to argue about every 3 seconds (which is incredibly entertaining to watch you tell her off- complete with hand gestures and baby language- and her respond as if she has any idea what you’re actually trying to convey!) I know that your relationship with her will only flourish and you’ll remain the best of friends.

Your smile is contagious. Your laugh is healing. I love you. I love every part of your wildly dysfunctional ways. I love every quirk, every “naughty” moment, and every part of you. You have this ability to make my heart happy when it’s sad. You have this gift of a sweet, curious, soul. I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes you. I cannot see what your perfect little soul brings to this World.  God has big plans for you, Bub, and I cannot wait to watch you achieve each of his goals for you.

 

I love you to the moon and back,

Mama