Another Party in Heaven- Zoey's 3rd Birthday

April 25, 2006 at 2:28 in the morning you came rushing into our lives. Impacting it like no other person. You left for Heaven three-months and 6 days later leaving us only with a few months of beautiful memories of you.

Each year as this time comes I am flooded with emotions of you. Don't get me wrong- I think of you all the time. I constantly try to envision the little girl you should be or would be had we been lucky enough to watch you develop into a three-year old. I always start writing your yearly letter wondering if I have the words to say, the energy to say them. They always come, my sweet girl.

We miss you. We wish that circumstances were different and you were running around our house; McKenzie chasing enthusiastically after you why we try to calm the both of you for your cake. Our cards were dealt differently and we're left with only those images and it's heartbreaking, Zoey.

I wish you could have grasped then how much we loved you and how proud we were of you. I have never, ever, ever, seen a baby with as much fight, spunk, and courage in my twenty-seven years on Earth. Never. Not sure I ever will and most of that is NOT just plain old Mommy bias.
I still cannot believe you'd be three. I still cannot believe you're gone on this Earth forever. It's quite rewarding to have faith in Jesus and know that goodbye isn't forever. One day those gates will open and you'll be waiting to greet us. It'll be a perfect day then.

Our family will always be missing a valuable link. McKenzie will always be jipped(for lack of a better term) from her Big Sister. I cannot wait until she's old enough to understand so I can tell her all about you.

The World isn't fair my Sugar Butt. It isn't. If it were- you'd be here with us. You would have been born without obstacles to overcome. Our family would be whole. Daddy wouldn't be flooded with his own emotions of trying to save his sweet girl. He feels so guilty about that. We both REALLY know that it was time for you to leave. You were sick of surgeries and no one really knew what your little life would have had to entail.

I am sorry for me- not for you. I am SO happy for you. Happy to know that the world no longer controls your fate. You're not another "statistic" or a doctors patient. You're in God's home running free with all the angel babies you have met over the last few years.

Mommy has met some really nice Mom's who miss their little kiddo's as much as I miss you. Can you give hugs and kisses to a few that especially tug at Mommy's heart: Aubrey, Logan, Alex, Luca, Ava, and Abby.

In closing I know you're having SO much fun in the skies right now. Run the clouds, dance with Jesus, eat a HUGE piece of chocolate cake. Know that Daddy and Mommy are thinking and loving and missing you today, tomorrow, and forever.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Zoey Faith, our sweet, beautiful, girl.
XXOO
Mommy, Daddy, McKenzie.