I am struggling to believe you'd be four today. I am surrounded by little kids who are your age, some who even share your birthday. It's bittersweet really.
It's been so long, but in the same breath so new. It is still so surreal that you'll never celebrate and Earthly birthday.
This time of year just sucks for me. I am constantly remembering the chaos that was your birth; I am reminded of those first few hours of your life. We were uncertain of your survival. Somehow you fought on.
I honestly never believed we'd be here. We're longing for what should be, and stuck with what is. It all seems so wrong for us. However, my faith reminds me of where you are- what you're doing- and most importantly who you're with. That is what faith is really about. I'll never see you again on "Earth-side" But I know without a shadow of doubt that we'll be together on Heaven's side.
People often feel sorry for your father and I. I presume this is because they cannot fathom the magnitude of this sort of loss. But we feel sorry for them because the vast majority of them never knew you while you were here. We can tell your story over and over again and people who lived through it(even without personally meeting you) get it. They know how incredibly brave and strong you are. They were touched by your beautiful spirit- and they remember you to this day.
The truth is we'll all ache for you for as long as we're apart. Our family with never be complete because its links were broken a long time ago- but we remain blessed. We're blessed because we knew you; we're blessed because we loved you. We're blessed because you made us better parents to your sister and new baby to come. We're blessed to be your parents- and though we wish fate would have went another way- we're content with this reality. There is an old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" That is perfectly stated.
We love you and miss you! Each year we tell you to eat your cake with Jesus and this year is no different. Happy Birthday sweet Zoey Faith! We love you to the moon and back!
Mommy and Daddy