Happy 7th birthday in Heaven, Zoey!

 

Tomorrow you turn seven. I cannot believe it. Happy, Happy, Birthday beautiful, sweet, girl!

 

 Today, I really didn't think I'd have the energy to write anything. Honestly, I've caught myself in tears a few times today thinking about you and the day you came into our lives. It's bittersweet. It's the best day ever. We were finally parents. And the worst news ever. You were born with a broken heart. And subsequently hearing that news broke our hearts.

I could write about what you should be doing. I could write about the things we're missing out on. But, today isn't about any of that. Today is celebrating your life, no matter how short. And we loved every second of it. We loved  the challenges, the victories, the experience. The truth is, no matter how hard the outcome would be, we wouldn't change a single thing. God made you the way you were for a reason. I obviously don't understand the reasoning, but I am grateful for the ride.

I am blessed to be your mother. I am blessed to have  had the opportunity to sing to you, smell you, cuddle you, learn from you, and most of all, love you. You're amazing. You're never, ever, not on my mind. My heart was broken the day you flew home. It's still broken. But my heart is filled with love and pride and  that supersedes the heartache.

So, tomorrow, celebrate. Celebrate turning 7. Celebrate impacting so many peoples lives. Celebrate being born. Being loved. Being remembered(every second of every day). And remember I will always be your advocate, your voice, and your mommy.

Enjoy your cake with Jesus,

Love you to the moon and back,

Mama

Brenton- You're two and a half years old!

Happy half-birthday little man. It’s hard to believe that you’ve somehow grown quicker and faster than your sister. But, here we are, half way through your second year and you’ve surely managed to keep us on our toes.

You’ve had a lot of milestones in the last six months. You’re totally potty trained. I would even venture to say that you’re night trained as well, but since you still insist on waking in the middle of the night(yawn!), we’re not quite ready to put you in undies in the off chance that you decide to pee on our bed while you’re fast asleep.

 

You’re talking a ton. You’re combining words and forming 3, and 4, and 5, word sentences. You’re being stubborn about showing off your speaking abilities at school which is ridiculously frustrating, but I’ve learned over the last two-years that you do things when you want to do them and not a second before.

 

You know your colors, some of your shapes, some of your letters(which baffles me!), and some numbers. You’re counting to 5 and quickly show of this skill when we’re counting down to your naughtiness, I’ll say ONE and you’ll quickly respond with an ornery smile, “TWO FREE”

You idolize your sister and you also terrorize her. You seem to want to do everything she is doing. It doesn’t matter if you’re a bit too little to accomplish those feats, you’re going to try, and then become frustrated when it doesn’t work out the way you planned. 

 

You love your kitchen, your trucks, and playing(slamming down like a pro wrestler) your sisters babies. You love to feed our dog, ride our dog, and cuddle our dog. She’s your best friend, I think. However, I am not quite sure that Bayleigh reciprocates that love.

 

You are by far the most stubborn kid I know. You are not fazed by the word no. You don’t bat an eye lash when you know you’re in  trouble. And even after you get in trouble for some wildly eccentric action you’ve just accomplished, it doesn’t seem to stop you from doing it over and over again. You have a “my way or the highway” sort of attitude. You, like your sister, are a born leader. Frustrating when I sometimes( a lot of times) need you to cooperate, but all and all a great quality as you mature. But, sometimes, boy, I wish you’d throw me a bone. It is exhausting. Mentally and physically exhausting. To say you keep us on our toes is a vast understatement.

 

 

You have a sweet quality to you, too. You’re helpful, kind, and huggable. You want all of us to cheer you on as you face obstacles in your little two-year old life. You are my cuddler. And often want to be cuddled when you’ve been naughty. Or scared. Or, well, for any reason really. There is a reason they say, “mama’s boy” because you surely know how to go right into my heart  and make me swoon over you.

 

You’re simply amazing, my sweet boy. Beautiful inside and out.  People gravitate towards you wherever we go, commenting on not only your outer cuteness, but your fun personality. When I learned I was having a baby boy I honestly didn’t know how to raise one after two little girls, but I cannot imagine you not in our lives. It’s like you’ve always been there.

 

We love you sweet, beautiful, B.

 

Love you to the moon and back,

 

-Mama