There's a party in Heaven- year 4

I am struggling to believe you'd be four today. I am surrounded by little kids who are your age, some who even share your birthday. It's bittersweet really.

It's been so long, but in the same breath so new. It is still so surreal that you'll never celebrate and Earthly birthday.

This time of year just sucks for me. I am constantly remembering the chaos that was your birth; I am reminded of those first few hours of your life. We were uncertain of your survival. Somehow you fought on.

I honestly never believed we'd be here. We're longing for what should be, and stuck with what is. It all seems so wrong for us. However, my faith reminds me of where you are- what you're doing- and most importantly who you're with. That is what faith is really about. I'll never see you again on "Earth-side" But I know without a shadow of doubt that we'll be together on Heaven's side.

People often feel sorry for your father and I. I presume this is because they cannot fathom the magnitude of this sort of loss. But we feel sorry for them because the vast majority of them never knew you while you were here. We can tell your story over and over again and people who lived through it(even without personally meeting you) get it. They know how incredibly brave and strong you are. They were touched by your beautiful spirit- and they remember you to this day.

The truth is we'll all ache for you for as long as we're apart. Our family with never be complete because its links were broken a long time ago- but we remain blessed. We're blessed because we knew you; we're blessed because we loved you. We're blessed because you made us better parents to your sister and new baby to come. We're blessed to be your parents- and though we wish fate would have went another way- we're content with this reality. There is an old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" That is perfectly stated.


We love you and miss you! Each year we tell you to eat your cake with Jesus and this year is no different. Happy Birthday sweet Zoey Faith! We love you to the moon and back!

Mommy and Daddy

Easter Pictures-

Just sharing photos- enjoy!

Happy Easter

More photos tomorrow in her Easter Dress! Just enjoy the video of her "Painting" Eggs. She's been asking to paint for an hour afterwards!

Sweet Relief

Today I took off work to go to a doctor's appointment. I've been nervous about this appointment for nearly 8 weeks when I made it.

It's one of those things that you dwell on and worry about for far too long. However, it went way better than I could have expected. Apparently, the Lord has really been listening and answering my prayers..




All that worrying over
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This perfect little BABY!

I am 12 weeks, 1 day pregnant. We started trying in January and got our positive on our first try. Please don't add to Duane's ego by telling him he's the MAN. Apparently, his sperm must be magnificent; It couldn't have ANYTHING to do with my egg, right?

We're due October 11th with a c-section a week prior. Today baby measured 13 weeks- was stubborn and refused to look face up- and had a perfect heartbeat of 164(d0wn from 180 at 9.2 weeks)!

Ahhh- feels good to let the cat out of the bag!!

McKenzie- you're 27 months old!

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I nearly forgot to write this-until I read a friends blog who just wrote to her daughter- who is a few weeks older than you. Thankfully you cannot read and you'll have to forgive me. You still have a vivacious spirit. You're stubborn and bright. Not the best of combo's; however, your father and I are slowly learning to adapt to your personality. You won't grow up to be a push over. You'll stand up for what you believe in and I really couldn't have prayed for more than that.
In life we often adapt to what society expects us to be like. It's almost like we mold ourselves into something we're not just in an attempt to satisfy others needs before our own. I want you to be you. Always put God first and then make yourself happy. If you're not happy you can't make others happy. This is my long winded way to say I love you just the way you are- even through all the chaos!

You are talking up a storm now. Everything is "Mine!" You ask questions ALL the time. You are always asking for your favorite people: Auntie(TT), Kali(KiKi) and Emerson(Emmy)!

You know all your colors and your favorite is pink. Oddly enough it took the longest to learn as you insisted that it was red.

You know your some of you ABC's(especially if we sing along with you). You can count to 10. You can successfully open doors(and lock them)!

And the most exciting(For Mommy and Daddy at least) is you're potty-trained!! You wear your big girl undies to school everyday. You still have ONE accident a day there and we're not sure why as this isn't an issue at home. You're not night trained and that's not a big deal as you're still comfortably sleeping in your crib.

You LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba, Elmo, and Dora. You're favorite song right now is "Where is Thumbkin" You sing it ALL the time! You love, love, love to color or to "write." I am guessing you are trying your hand at your artistic creativity.

You favor your Daddy to me. You absolutely love him(I do,too)! You always want to cuddle with him and go to sleep in "Daddy's bed!"

In closing we love you. Our lives have changed so drastically since the day you were born and my heart is ready to explode. Through each of the bumps I am reminded how blessed we are to have you here.

We love you to the moon and back

Slacker

I often find myself not posting because I don't have much to talk about. Kenzie recently removed half of my keys off my keyboard while I was in the bathroom. Can we say destructive. My mother reminds me that she is my punishment for putting her through toddler hell back in the 80's. It's been over twenty years and she still remembers! Maybe I'll remember to remind Kenzie how she deflated every last ounce of energy I had on a daily basis. She is the craziest kid I know; but she is also incredibly sweet. She's a BRIGHT kid. She studies everything and tries her hardest to figure the logistics of everything. She's a 30 year old in a two-year old body.

We're still mastering potty-training. She's trained at home(with VERY few accidents) and at daycare- but still isn't in full-time panties yet. Probably because when she's too busy to go, she goes in her britches and tells us seconds later that she's gone. She's pretty cute about the whole thing, "Oh, no... I pee pee in my panties! I go in the potty! Not my undies!"

I got a new fancy camera for my birthday. It's awesome! It's quite complicated and pretty pricey, but I am hoping to master this hobby shortly. Thankfully, I have a cute model- even if she is only partially cooperative.

Work has been physically and mentally exhausting lately. Hoping to take a vacation week shortly. I keep trying to remind myself that being employed in this crummy economy is Godsend.

All and all- we're doing great! Hope everyone enjoys the new pictures!

Lots of love,

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A little update(minus pics).

I cannot find my little camera. I think I lost it when we went to the park a few weekends ago. Which means McKenzie hasn't been photographed since- a long time in our world.

She is doing great. She had a few issues at school for biting. It was quite odd as I was ready to yank her out of the school because she was being bit; she decided if she couldn't beat em', why not join em?! She finally(fingers crossed) stopped. Partly because we prayed about it- partly because we showed her biting hurts- partly because we probably just got REALLY lucky.

She is doing REALLY well with potty training. Just today she REALLY started telling me when she had to go(rather than me constantly just taking her). When she goes number 2, she has to yell for EVERYONE that is home to see. She shrieks, claps, and dances- expressing her delight in what she has just done. It's probably the cutest thing ever. I think the attention she gets from it really gets her motivated to TRY to go poop at EVERY potty trip. Whatever works, right?

Duane and I are really, really, close to buying our first home. We're probably about two/three months away from this goal and I am psyched.

Work is chaotic and busy- but I really do like the new position. It's can be quite humbling listening to others hardships. Some of them are REALLY mind blowing.


That's it for now-

:)